The Only Thing Under Siege Is Your Brain
by tahliaaa-writes-badly
Summary: Requested by the lovely Romantica 123! I'm not sure what to type as a summary, so read and find out. Set in the middle of Season Five. I do not own the cover image. If you own it and would like me to take it down, PM me and I shall gladly do so. xx
1. Chapter One

Hiccup walked into the Clubhouse one fairly miserable morning, and addressed the gang in not his usual cheerful, bright tone, but a flat, lifeless one instead. "Morning, guys. I... have some annoying news."

Snotlout snorted. "We already know the twins are alive, Hiccup."

Normally, Hiccup would have laughed with the others, but that day he was not in a good mood. "No," he snapped. "We're going to Berk." He sat down on a stool in the corner of the room, took out a book, and started reading it.

The others' reactions were all the same and spoken in unison: "_WHAT_?!"  
Hiccup sighed, and repeated himself while still reading the book.

"Berk? Seriously, Hiccup? I mean, we went there last week! Why do we need to go again?" Astrid exclaimed incredulously.  
"My mum was soooo annoying last week. She told me to stop blowing things up and behave like a proper little lady! I don't wanna go back!"

Tuffnut banged his head on the table to somehow illustrate his sister's point.

"There's nothing to do there except tease Fishface!"

Fishlegs whimpered. "So why are we going there?"

Hiccup looked up from his book. "Because we're going to have a visitor."

"_WHAT_?!"

* * *

Thirty-two hours later, the Riders were soaring through the air to Berk. The only sounds were the dragons communing, and Snotlout occasionally moaning about the lack of food- all of which he had eaten in the first two hours.

"Are we there yet?" Snotlout asked for the millionth time, perhaps not very wisely. Hiccup's head shot up from where he had been reading his book- again. "Yes, Snotlout, we are on the Isle of Berk. Hop off your dragon and there will not be clouds beneath you, but soft, fresh, nonexistent grass. No, we are not there yet!"

This appeared to send the twins and Fishlegs into high-pitched peals of laughter. Astrid, on the other hand, rolled her eyes at Snotlout, who looked extremely confused at Hiccup's self-contradictory statement.  
Hiccup looked down, once more totally absorbed in his book.

More hours passed, and finally, they were there.  
"YES!" squealed Snotlout as they landed, and practically fell off of Hookfang.

Hiccup dismounted Toothless solemnly, and walked straight to his father's home. "I'll meet you guys in the Great Hall later," he said as he walked away.  
"Hiccup!" shouted Astrid, but he either didn't hear, or didn't listen.

Hiccup never listened.

* * *

"Ah, son! So glad you could join us!" said Stoick the Vast heartily. Hiccup nodded. "Hi, Dad."  
"And...?" prompted Stoick, gesturing to a large woman and a girl who were also in the house.  
Hiccup smiled politely, and shook their hands. "H- hi."  
The woman smiled. "Pleased to meet you, Hiccup! I've heard all about you."  
Hiccup mentally screamed.  
On the outside, he forced another fake-but-polite smile onto his face, and looked at the girl. "And you are...?"  
The woman looked at Stoick expectantly, who sighed and said:  
"Hiccup? Meet your cousin, Eira."

_WHAT_?!


	2. Chapter Two

Helloooooo! I see you've found chapter two. Talk about obvious lol

But I have some news! I've recently been binge watching stacyplays's gameplay of Minecraft: Story Mode, and I'm enjoying it very much. Apparently all I write is romance, angst, hurt/comfort, friendship, and drama, so I MUST WRITE AN ANGST FANFICTION FOR MCSM. Please tell me I'm not the only one who hardcore ships female Jesse and Petra, aka Jestra? Tell me I'm not the only one... PLEASE I'M GOING CRAZY HERE.

Well then, onto the story!

* * *

_PREVIOUSLY ON DRAGONS: A NEW BEGINNING..._

_"We're going to Berk."_

_"Berk? Seriously, Hiccup? I mean, we went there last week! Why do we need to go again?"_

_"So why are we going there?"_

_"Because we're going to have a visitor."_

_"Ah, son! So glad you could join us!"_

_"Hiccup? Meet your cousin, Eira."_

* * *

"Excuse me?" Hiccup asked, disbelieving. "I don't have a... cousin, apart from Snotlout."  
Stoick winked at him(which, in Hiccup's opinion, was slightly disconcerting) and said, "Ah. But that's where you're wrong!"

Hiccup assumed the large woman would be his... aunt? "So, on your side, or... or Mum's?" he asked. Stoick frowned. "On your mother's. Your aunt Helgea is her eldest sister."

Eira smiled at Hiccup brightly. She clearly had no idea how annoyed he was, and said enthusiastically, "I'm coming to your island to stay for two weeks! Isn't this amazing?"

Hiccup stared.

Two. Whole. WEEKS.

"Okay then," said Hiccup, trying to keep his voice as level as possible. "And- and why's that?"

Aunt Helgea threw back her head and roared with laughter. Eventually she wiped the tears from her eyes, and said in an irritated tone, "He's jokin'. He's gotta be. What do you teach the kid, Stoick? My, if Valka were here-"  
"Don't talk about her! Look, Helgea, I assure you Hiccup is not joking."  
"You mean you haven't- you haven't TOLD him?!" blustered Helgea.  
"Eh. Well... no."

Eira smiled. "I love your hair, Hiccup! It's totally different from mine, more red if you know what I mean, but it's nice!"  
Hiccup smiled back uncomfortably. "Uh, thanks?"

"Alright then. Hiccup, Eira? Helgea and I have to go to the Finnoak islands tomorrow to sign a peace treaty. A lot of the tribes are. And then we have... other business to attend to. We figured it wouldn't be a good idea for you to come, Eira- no place for a young girl like you- so we're sending you off to Dragon's Edge for a couple of weeks. You don't mind, do you Hiccup?... Hiccup?"

Hiccup started, realising he had been staring at the wall for the past forty seconds. "No. Not at all! That's- yep, that's fine."  
Stoick sighed. "Good. Hiccup, could I talk to you alone for a minute?"  
He pulled Hiccup upstairs and said, "Look. Hiccup, between you and me, Helgea's lost the plot. She seems to think Eira will be in danger if the Riders know her identity. So she's not your cousin Eira. She's your old family friend Jessika. I- I know it seems crazy, but-"  
"What do you mean?!" hissed Hiccup. "Dad, I trust the other Riders with my _life_. Surely I can just tell Astrid or something?"

"No! No, you can't. She- she's the last living relative of your mother- apart from you of course... If she called off the peace treaty with _Berk_, I'd never be able to forgive myself. Just... Please." Stoick looked at his son with pleading eyes, and Hiccup gave in.

"Fine. But I have a feeling that "Jessika" isn't going to go down very well with Astrid..."


	3. Chapter Three

Morning all. And yes I said morning. It's eight am here.

Not altogether proud of this chapter, there are some pretty useless scenes in it. I am trying to update daily, but I've literally, because it's written down, got about ten other stories to write. And a professional book.

One thing I'm not pleased about is that Storybird is dying. You now have to be a paid member to use the site, which sucks, because I loved that site! Free, easy to use... huh.

Well then, onto the story! Tell me if you spot the reference to the show title in paragraph whatevsies.

-Tahlia

* * *

_PREVIOUSLY ON DRAGONS: A NEW BEGINNING..._

_"I'm coming to your island to stay for two weeks! Isn't this amazing?"_

_"Helgea and I have to go to the Finnoak islands tomorrow to sign a peace treaty. We figured it wouldn't be a good idea for you to come, Eira- no place for a young girl like you- so we're sending you off to Dragon's Edge for a couple of weeks."_

_"Helgea seems to think Eira will be in danger if the Riders know her identity. So she's not your cousin Eira. She's your old family friend Jessika."_

_"Dad, I trust the other Riders with my _life_. Surely I can just tell Astrid or something?"_

_"She- she's the last living relative of your mother- apart from you of course... If she calls off the peace treaty with_ Berk,_ I'd never be able to forgive myself."_

* * *

"WHAT?!"

Astrid, it seemed, was not too psyched for the following two weeks.  
"Look, come on Astrid, it's not like I like her or anyth-"  
"Oh really!" Astrid mirthlessly sneered. "No, Hiccup, it's _exactly_ like you like her. I thought we were meant to be betrothed, I thought," she crossed her eyes and went on in a silly, overexaggerated nasal voice, "there will always be a Hiccup and Astrid- always? Or was that all an act, and now I'm getting dumped for some "Jessika" chick who probably can't even throw an axe two centimetres away? I thought you were better than that, Hiccup."

She could be quite belittling when she wanted to be.

Hiccup stepped back, stung. "No, Astrid. You know that's not true..."  
Astrid deflated, all traces of aggressiveness gone. "I know... I know. Sorry, Hiccup. I'm just... tired. How can I make it up to you?"

Hiccup gave her a small smile. "You don't have to. Hey, uh, we're leaving for the Edge in two hours. You should go talk to your family or something, I don't know."

Astrid nodded, and walked away.

* * *

"So you don't have a dragon or anything?"

The Riders were bombarding Eira with questions as they flew through the dusk sky that night. The questions "what's your favourite food" "what's your favourite colour" and, not altogether surprisingly, "don't you just love randomly smashing your head on a stone wall" had come up once or twice.

But of course to the Riders, she was Jessika, a nineteen-year-old girl with long brown hair who, coincidentally, couldn't throw an axe two centimetres away, and she wasn't Hiccup's cousin, she was his childhood family friend.

Jessika shook her head. "No, my mother forbids it. Thinks it's too dangerous or something, I don't know. She's a bit controlling and overprotective ..."

"Huh," grunted Astrid begrudgingly. She didn't _want_ to like this strange Jessika, who looked like she was practically twirling Hiccup round her little finger, but she couldn't help but feel understanding. Astrid's own mother was the same. She had always focused on Astrid's looks instead of personality, and didn't at all approve of her place in the Riders. She hated the fact that Astrid could throw an axe- and fight with it too.

"Astrid!" Hiccup called from his position in front of her.  
She quickly pulled on Stormfly's saddle to make her go slower, and shouted back, "What? Everything okay?"  
Hiccup frowned. "I've been calling your name for the past two minutes, so maybe _I_ should be asking _you_ that last question..."

Jessika smiled. "Is everything okay, Hiccup? Astrid?" she asked them sweetly. _Too sweetly_, thought Astrid bitterly. "Everything's fine, _Jessika_," she spat.  
Hiccup looked slightly taken aback. "C'mon, Ast, be nice. Oh, and by the way, would it be okay if Eir- _Jessika_\- stays with you?"

Jessika smiled again, this time even more infuriatingly sweet.

And that was when Astrid screamed, both in jealousy and rage.

"Astrid..." Hiccup sighed. "Calm down."  
Jessika looked at him. "Does she often have... temper tantrums like this? I'm not sure she's a suitable lover for you..."

Astrid muttered a very bad word.

* * *

They landed on the Edge twelve hours later, and Astrid was furious. Not only was there a chicken scratching around in the chests of the dome, but Jessika whispered to Hiccup, "How nice! Very... modern, I love it!"

Which usually wouldn't have bothered Astrid, but, well, it was Jessika. Everything she did annoyed Astrid to the brink of absolute rage. Heck, when she even _breathed_, it made Astrid angry.

The twins immediately ran off to... Hiccup's house?... saying they had to "go attend to some totally not blowing Hiccup's house up business". Hiccup followed, hoping to stop them. Fishlegs and Snotlout practically raced to the Clubhouse, and only left...

"So, Astrid! I'm going to be staying in your house... would you like to be friends?" Jessika asked her nicely. _Huh_, Astrid thought. _She might be an insufferable little-_ brat_, but at least she's polite. Sorta_.

"Mm," she grumbled. "Come and put your stuff there."

And so the two girls left the dome and departed for Astrid's house, one skipping and the other one mumbling death threats under her breath.


	4. Chapter Four

Good morning! It's actually 7:04 PM while I type this sentence. But, whatever :/

I ACTUALLY UPDATED! I'm happy. Sorry it took me so long! There were some extremely personal issues that stopped me from writing, which I have only told a few people. But we're good now! I should be able to update more over the next few days. Chapter isn't that good today, but it has a few key plot points. I'll try to give you better chapters in future XD

Enjoy if you happen to enjoy crappy chapters that I write!

* * *

"Astrid- psst- _Astrid_!"

"Huh? Wha... Jessika, it's too early. Go back to sleep," Astrid yawned at five in the next morning. In her opinion, even _six_ was too early, but Jessika clearly thought otherwise.

Despite Astrid's protests, Jessika kept shaking her. "Come on. Let's go to your Great Hall."  
Astrid sat up, and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "We don't have a- gah, Jessika! Don't pull the blanket back! It's not a Great Hall. It's a Clubhouse."

Jessika walked over to the door. "Oh, yes. So shall we go there?"  
Astrid sighed. "Okay then."

* * *

Hiccup was already sitting in front of the fire doing some paperwork when Eira and Astrid got there. "Gods, Hiccup. What time did _you_ get up?" the latter enquired sleepily. Hiccup shrugged. "Maybe an hour ago?"

Astrid stared at him. Four in the morning?! "You're crazy," she informed him, and sat down next to him.  
Hiccup grinned. "Tell me something I don't know?"

Astrid smiled back at him.  
"Ooh, Hiccup!" Eira had seen the pieces of driftwood placed on top of Hiccup's pile of parchment. "What are you going to do with those?"  
He answered her by picking one up, taking a small knife from his pocket, and gouging it into the wood. "Whittling. It's sort of fun."  
He looked at Astrid, who smiled at him again, but her radiant beam soon morphed into a livid scowl as Eira told him, "You're so talented! You must teach me how to do that. I'm so glad I'm here with you!"

Astrid looked, if possible, even angrier than before. Hiccup sighed as he slid the knife backwards and forwards in the driftwood. "Astrid, I was thinking. It's your turn to choose the mission. What do you want to do?" Hiccup was trying to be nice to her, but Astrid growled, "I want to kill every female human on this island, excluding me and Ruffnut."

Hiccup blinked and put the carved wood down. "B- but that's just Jessika then."

Astrid stood up and glared at him. "Exactly!" she shot, and threw her axe at the shields on the wall.

Meanwhile, Jessika seemed to be oblivious to the small argument going on in the same room. "I love this sword, Hiccup! Wherever did you get it?"  
"Made it," Hiccup mumbled quietly. "Look, Astrid, could you just please _try_ to make an effort? Please?"  
"No," Astrid snapped, and stormed out of the Clubhouse just as Snotlout, Fishlegs, and the twins walked in.

* * *

"Alright, guys. Since Astrid didn't want to choose a mission for today, we're just doing the usual twenty laps around the island and then we'll all go on patrol, see if we can find anything out of sorts," Hiccup addressed the gang later that morning when they were all in the training arena, much to the twins' annoyance("Why can't we just blow things up?!").  
"And is _Jessika_ coming along?" Astrid replied, sounding relatively uninterested apart from the subtle- not- burning hatred in her voice.  
"If she'd like," responded Hiccup indifferently. Eira squealed. "Ooh, yes please! What will we do if we come across a Hunter ship?"  
Hiccup grimaced. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

The Riders all mounted their dragons, the twins and Snotlout doing so reluctantly and groaning. When they got into the air and were flying laps, Eira stage-whispered into Hiccup's ear, "You're such a great leader! You truly are perfect in every way."

A few metres away from them, Astrid growled in rage. What was Jessika trying to _do_ to Astrid's relationship with Hiccup? Deep down, she knew she was just being silly, but Astrid wasn't really one for thinking things through.

This was going to end, and soon.


	5. Chapter Five

WE ARE WEIRD  
LIFE IS ODD  
IT ONLY CONTAINS WHUMP  
WE GOTTA MAKE THE MOST OF CATS, MAKE THE MOST OF CATS

Oh, hi there. Just singing my abnormal version of Life Is Fun.

I've actually made a chapter(it's totally really long), and also I'd appreciate it if you could vote on the poll in my bio!

Just to clear some stuff up, when I refer to Eira as Eira, it's from Hiccup's main perspective, and when I refer to her as Jessika, it's Astrid's.

I've been getting into alternative instrumental music lately, and the two I have to recommend are Mind Games by Sickick, and Alice by matstubs. Mind Games isn't instrumental, but it's still a great song!

Finally, I just recently launched a YouTube channel. If you go to my Wattpad page(tahliesque), I have put a link to it in my bio there. It's called Shadow Fox, and apparently, there are about a million channels named Shadow Fox. So... yeah. Enjoy! P.S. Guess who just spent the last half hour searching the Internet for side effects of antidepressants? me lol

* * *

When the Riders got back from their small mission, Hiccup was exhausted. The twins, of course, had managed to make Astrid even more annoyed than she already was, and she was seething. Fishlegs and Snotlout had been arguing the whole way back, and Eira chattered nonchalantly into Hiccup's ear. "Later, Hiccup, could we possibly make another sword? I'd love to see how you do it."  
Hiccup sighed. "Mine took months to make. I don't see how we'd be able to make another in only eleven days..."

Astrid smiled maliciously from where she stood behind them. Finally! He was declining her request!

"... but we could make something else if you'd like."

NO! "Actually, Hiccup," Astrid cut in. "I was hoping we could go for a flight later. To, you know, just, talk and stuff."  
"Okay then," replied Hiccup. "I'll meet you at the Clubhouse in an hour."

Astrid grinned, gave a tiny triumphant nod to Jessika, and practically flounced off to sharpen her axe.

* * *

_Eight Days Later_

"I just don't get why you're being so nice to her!" fumed Astrid angrily.  
"Look, Astrid- just stop. You know I don't mean anything like _that_ by it... I'm just trying to make her feel welcome," reasoned Hiccup,  
"Yeah- _too_ welcome," Astrid scoffed. "You have to choose- me, or Jessika."  
Hiccup hesitated. He had to make his cousin feel welcome, but he really didn't want to make Astrid jealous in doing so. In that moment of said hesitation, though, the latter sighed unhappily. "Face it, Hiccup; you don't want to be with me, and, well, vice versa at this point."  
Hiccup watched in confusion and sadness as his no-longer-betrothed took off her necklace and tossed it at him. He fumbled to catch it as Astrid walked away.

He had made a huge mistake.

* * *

The next morning, Astrid was standing outside Hiccup's house at 3:55 AM. She'd been standing there for ten minutes, and was hoping to catch Hiccup on his way to the Clubhouse.

Just as she had decided that it was pointless to try and wait for him, the door opened and her... betrothed? Ex-betrothed?... walked out of his house. "Hiccup!" Astrid exclaimed. "Hiccup, we need to talk, I-"  
She stopped as Hiccup strode past her, barely acknowledging her presence. The only sign he had actually noticed her was the fact that he stepped sideways so as not to walk into her.

Astrid felt tears forming in her eyes, and quickly restrained herself. She was Astrid Hofferson! No tears. No tears. No, no, no.

But even so, she couldn't stop a few sliding down her cheeks as Hiccup disappeared around the corner.

What had she done?


	6. Chapter Six

It took me so long to update, and I feel so horrible.

I've been preoccupied with The Bad Days and about ten other stories, and haven't had time to write this. But I pulled it together quickly, and now this crap is here! Enjoy!

P.S. This chapter will be in Astrid's point of view because I felt like it. XD

* * *

Leaving.

Jessika was finally leaving the next day.

That girl had messed everything up. Hiccup and I had broken up because of her! He wasn't talking to me anymore, and had even been spending more and more time with Jessika! Meanwhile, she seemed oblivious to what she had done and kept smiling at me, trying to make conversation. I hated her. Hated hated hated her. Why did she have to come? Why couldn't she just stay on Bâbord Island where she shouldn't have left in the first place?

"Astrid?"

I looked up from where I was sitting on my bed and glared. "What do you want, Jessika?" She smiled. "Come to the Great Hall. Dinner's ready."

I stood up and sighed. "It's a Clubhouse, Jessika. Clubhouse. _Not_ a Great Hall. Get that into your head."

Her smile faltered. "There's no need to be so-"

"So _what_, exactly?"

"N- nevermind."

If her smile dematerialized, mine grew wider. _Astrid- one. Jessika- zero._

* * *

Fishlegs, Snotlout, and the twins all looked up at me and smiled as I came in. "Hey, A!" Tuffnut called, even though I was right next to him. I winced. "Keep it down, Tuff. What is it?" He nodded towards Hiccup, who had been the only one not to acknowledge my presence and was slumped on the opposite side of the roughly rounded table, his head in his hands. "He's being a pain in the- well, you know. He won't let us juggle the plates!"

I opened my mouth to say something, but Jessika stopped me. "I'm not surprised! Tuffnut, you really should know better. Hiccup is going through a rough time at the moment."

Wait, what?

Fishlegs looked up from his food. "Huh?"

"He is?" the twins and Snotlout asked in unison. Jessika shot a look at Hiccup and sat down next to him. "Oh yes," she nodded. "He is. He's only confided in me though, so you lot wouldn't know about it. Now I won't tell you what it is, because I-"

"-can tell we know already."

All heads, with the exception of Hiccup, turned toward me. "You- you do?" Jessika stammered, my interruption clearly not part of her plan. "Oh yes! We all know he's having a difficult time handling you. He's only confided in _us_ how annoying you are! Strange how you know as well. He also said that he can't wait for you to go back to- where was it again? Baboon Island? Well, anyway, I'm afraid we all share the same opinion." I paused and glanced at Jessika's horrified expression. Was I being too harsh? I pressed on anyway. "But it's okay! At least we'll all be happy to see the back of you, and we'll never let you back here again. That'll teach you to leave us alone in future. Gods, tomorrow's going to be the happiest day of my life-"

"That's enough, Astrid!"

I whipped my head around to face Hiccup, who was now standing up. "Jessika, that never happened. Astrid, just- just go. Don't say things like that. It's unkind and untrue."

I stared at him. How dare he? "Untrue? _Untrue_? Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, how _dare_ you talk to me about untruthfulness! You, who kept the fact that you had a Night Fury from your father for a month, and from Dagur for a year and a half? You, who never tell us anything? Jessika's real name could be... Eira, for all we know! And as for Jessika- her story about you has never happened either! She's been the cause of a whole lot of awful stuff lately. She's lying as well, and here you are going off at _me_ about untruthfulness! I'm done with you! Jessika, you can have him! He clearly loves you more than he loves- sorry, loved- me!"

Something I said had clearly struck a nerve, because Hiccup seemed to snap. "Get. Out."

"No!" I shot back. "I will stay as long as I like! Do I want to leave? Hmm... no."

Fishlegs, Snotlout, Jessika, and the twins were all looking back and forth between Hiccup and me.

"Just get out! Do you think you're the only one in the world? Do you think the Sun and the Moon are both centred around you? Well, you're wrong! You're too self-centred. This is why nobody likes you!"

Huh.

"Well, nobody even likes you either anyway! There was always a reason you never had friends, a reason why your dad hated you and still does! You should never have been born... you're useless."

I had really done it this time.

"Okay, okay, Astrid," intervened Snotlout at last. "Maybe just- leave for a bit-"

I nodded, glared at Jessika, and turned to Hiccup, whose face had switched from angry to terrified in an instant. A wave of guilt washed over me, but I pushed it away and spat, "Did you hear me? Useless. You'll always be useless."

And I walked away.


	7. Chapter Seven

Thank Thor for music.

I finally pulled myself together and wrote a little bit. I already had half of this written, but only finished it tonight and that's great much clap wow. Sorry if the chapter's general aura is a bit like The Bad Days, I've been writing a lot of that lately, and hostility/snarkiness has sort of become my default writing setting.

This chapter's going to be in both Hiccup and Astrid's points of view. I'll tell you when it changes in the same style I did(*sob*) in The Bad Days. Please go and check that out if you haven't already, but do mind the warnings. Also, I hope you won't mind if this chapter's in present tense. Enjoy! Well, at least try!

P.S. the ending is awful because well I wanted to sleep okay?

P.P.S. happy winter, y'all! hope you don't get frostbite and _**die**_\- wait, what

* * *

_Hiccup's Point Of View_

It's later that night. I'm sitting on my bed reading my book, and tears are slipping down my cheeks. How could Astrid say that? She was always the only one who would never call me, well... that... she normally just ignored me. After we defeated the Red Death and made peace with the dragons, I thought she was on my side!

But I guess I was wrong.

She's just like the others were.

She always has been, and she always will be, no matter what.

Forever.

A sudden knock on my door startles me out of my thoughts and I hear Tuffnut's hysterical laughter. "Hey, Hiccup! Hahaha... I juggled the plates." I raise my eyes to Valhalla and answer in my best I-haven't-been-crying voice, "Aand... what happened?"

"Ow! Ow ow ow ow owwww-"

"-get out of the _way_, you idiot! He fell over and half the plates tumbled out of the room and over the edge of the platform. Can you carve some more?" calls Ruffnut's irritated voice. I stand up and open the door, Tuffnut stumbling and landing at my feet. "Oh, gods," I mumble. "Yeah, I can carve some more... maybe when we get back from Berk. I'm sure we'll manage until then."

Ruff looks at me weirdly. "You good?" I nod. Ruff then adds, "They want you in the Clubhouse." We haul Tuff up from where he's about to roll off the platform and walk towards the Clubhouse.

And when I get there, Astrid's sitting there with all the others.

I briefly glance at her and then quickly avert my gaze to the ground. Fishlegs taps my arm, and I look up. Eira is sitting on a stool in the corner looking at her nails and looks up when I come in. She beams at me, and I don't return it. Snotlout gives me a tiny smile- which is rare for him, so I do my best to send one back.

I have a feeling I'm sort of failing.

* * *

_Astrid's Point of View_

They want to talk.

They want me, Hiccup, and Jessika to talk to each other, along with all of the other Riders. So I'm sitting there in the Clubhouse waiting for the twins to get back with Hiccup, listening to Fishlegs and Snotlout argue, and watching Jessika stare at her fingernails like they're the new best thing. I glare at her, and just by chance, she looks up at me at that exact moment. She shoots me a _look_\- one of those nasty, "I'll-get-you-next-time-even-though-nothing's-happened-yet" looks. My mind does a double-take; I hadn't known she was capable of that.

I'm wrenched ungraciously from my thoughts as Ruff, Tuff, and Hiccup walk into the room. I'm about to give Hiccup a malicious scowl, but then I see how tired and upset he looks.

I've made a mistake.

I've hurt him.

I've messed up- really bad.

* * *

_Hiccup's Point Of View_

When I was little, I always used to have to sit on my father's lap and watch the trials he and the council conducted. They weren't usually for really serious things like murder or another crime; they were usually far more trivial matters. But still, my father would talk to the two- or sometimes three or even four- villagers, and discuss their problems with them, and slam his fists and shout once or twice if things got really frustrating. Eight-year-old me would obviously find this rather frightening, and would frequently burst into tears when Dad got annoyed. This would usually result in him getting even more annoyed, and once the trial finished, at home I would have to endure endless hours of him giving me the cold shoulder- or sometimes even yelling at me.

These twenty minutes in the Clubhouse with Astrid and the others so far have been _exactly_ like the trials.

I haven't said a single word so far.

"Hiccup Haddock. Do you admit that you stole Astrid Hofferson's fish basket and ate it, or do you deny the charges made against you?"

The twins seemed to have taken over the conduction of the trial.

"Orrrr do you take her to be your lawfully beheaded- whoops, _wedded_\- foot? Then you'll have two again!"

Laughter from the female twin.

"Sister, do stop talking. Alas, we are not here to marry them: we are here to force the offender to relinquish- or, in this case, _regurgitate_\- the stolen fish basket! Perhaps we may marry them tomorrow. Or we could paint Hiccup's arm pink. Either one will- _ouch_! I am hurt. I am very much hurt!"

"Shut _up_, you moron. Nobody did anything wrong- well- not really. We just need to talk about this and figure out our problems. _No paint will be involved_," says Snotlout in a surprisingly sensible tone.

His statement brings gasps from both Ruffnut and Tuffnut.

It's stupid, I decide. It's all so stupid. So I get up, ignoring the protests of the others, and I walk out of the room.

_It's all so stupid._


	8. Chapter Eight

_wHOOPS I GOT_

_99 STORIES_

_SINGING OH MY GOD_

_HOLD UP_

_IF YOU WANNA COLLABORATE WITH ME BETTER GIVE ME MAYBE FIVE MORE YEARS_

_WRITE A STORY WHERE HICCUP CRIES_

_AND WE'LL READ IT HAPPILY_

_SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF ALL OUR LUNGS_

_OH GOD I LOVE THE ANGST_

_ooOooooOOOOO_

_ooOooooOOOOO_

wait what

WOWOWOOWWOOWOWOWOOWOWW IT'S MY BIRTHDAYYYYY TOMORROWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEHHEHEHEHEH okay I'm fine. Tomorrow's my birthday, and I thought that as this is my last update before my birthday, I would say my age. Because y'all probs think I'm in university or something, and I don't want to "pull the wool over your eyes, madam!" DOB reference, anyone?

I didn't want to say my age at first as I was afraid of being underestimated, but now I think I've probably proven myself with The Bad Days(which you can read but mind the warnings, yep shameless plug). So here we go.

Tomorrow at 1:03 PM, I turn twelve years old.

And today at 9:44 PM, I am eleven.

Don't underestimate me.

Oh god

Enjoy the chapter

P.S. I GOT A LAPTOP AND MINECRAFT JAVA EDITION YEEEEEEEH

P.P.S. Come along to my Reddit or Tumblr(tahliesque) to hear some good wholesome rants.

P.P.P.S Give me prompts. Tumblr, Wattpad, or here. xx

P.P.P.P.S HICCUP IS A SNARKY FRUIT OH GOD

* * *

"Hiccup," Astrid called as she turned the corner to his hut. "Hiccup, where are you?"

She opened the door of his hut. "Hiccup, are you in here?"

Looking around, she saw that the papers on his desk were unaccompanied by ink or charcoal, so he hadn't been working. Had she really hurt him so much that he wasn't working? "Hiccup!" she cried out again, traipsing up the stairs. "I'm sorry... just... where are you? Hiccup! Where in the name of Thor..."

Suddenly, she felt something brush past her. She turned around and saw a mop of messy auburn hair rushing downstairs- and on reflex, she grabbed him by the arm. "Hiccup! I've been looking for you."

"I don't want to talk to you, Astrid," Hiccup replied tonelessly, trying and failing to pull away. "Let me go!"

"No, not until we sort this out. You- stop struggling!- are going to sit down with me, and we- I said stop struggling!- are going to figure this out! If you could please stop struggling it would probably be more enjoyable for both of us, Hiccup."

Hiccup stopped struggling, seeing that it wouldn't actually make a difference to anything except Astrid's temper, and Astrid pulled him down onto his bed. "Now. Talk."

"What is there to say?" he muttered in a bored, quiet voice.

"Well, not much on your part," Astrid admitted, glancing at her shoes. "I... probably have a fair amount to apologise for. So... sorry, Hiccup."

Hiccup looked at her, eyes ablaze. "'Sorry'? Astrid, you're going to have to do a lot better than that. What was it again? '_You should never have been born, you're useless_'? 'Sorry' won't cut it this time, Astrid. If you thought that I would just forgive you as quickly as the twins can be annoying, then one; you're a very bad thinker, and two; you can think again."

"Hiccup- I am really sorry. I was- I just- I'm sorry..."

"Think for the third time. You are a very slow learner." And with that, Hiccup got up and walked away. "Get ready. We're going back to Berk."

* * *

As the Riders flew through the air, Astrid thought about what had happened. She reflected on the argument in the Clubhouse and inwardly cringed. Had she really said that?

"Okay, gang... and Astrid... We're here. You can all go and talk to your families for a bit, meet back in the arena at five o'clock and we'll leave. Got it?"

They dismounted as they landed, and Astrid walked straight over to Jessika. "You have messed _everything_ up," she hissed. "And I will personally make sure that you pay."

Jessika blinked. _Playing the innocent in front of her little crush_, Astrid thought. "Come on, Hiccup! Let's go and see Uncle Stoick!" Jessika said happily to Hiccup, seemingly ignoring Astrid. Hiccup nodded, and they walked to the Chief's house.

Astrid frowned, wondering how Hiccup could _possibly_ get along with that girl.

Then she stopped.

_Uncle Stoick_?

She raced after them as they disappeared into the house, sticking her arm in the way of the door so it wouldn't close. Hiccup opened his mouth to protest, and then:

"Astrid!" boomed the voice of Stoick the Vast. "Come in, lass!"

Hiccup scowled but let his former betrothed pass.

"Now, Hiccup. I think we can tell Astrid about Eira's true identity now that she's back here?"

Hiccup nodded, scowl still plastered to his face. "Astrid, Jessika's real name is Eira, and she's my cousin. I couldn't tell you because her mother was worried about her safety and I was the only one of the Riders who was allowed to know. You happy now?"

Astrid gasped quietly. Stoick looked at us questioningly. "Everything alright, son?"

She had messed up.

Really badly.


	9. Chapter Nine

Ehhhhh.

I've been gone for so so long, and I'm really sorry. I do owe everybody who was waiting for an update for more than seven months a huge apology. And I'm not here to make excuses for myself, because I know I can't do that. But I'd like to take a moment to explain.

A few of you may know that 2019 was an especially crappy year for me, as I was dealing with a lot of stuff such as problems with friends and mental issues. I've also been questioning my romantic orientation quite a bit as well- I feel like my audience just here isn't the most accepting of LGBTQ+ individuals, so I'll leave that there. But I'll just say; I'm here and I'm queer.

But- and I am awfully dreading this moment- I've lost interest in the HTTYD fandom.

I know that is such a stupid, hypocritical thing to say. Because writers I loved when I was still obsessed with HTTYD, such as BeyondTheClouds777 and the like, were leaving the fandom and I remember thinking, "Wow, that's annoying. I'll never leave." I remember feeling disappointed with them for leaving, though it was their own personal choice, and somehow jealous of their readers in the fandoms they still participated in. I remember thinking, "How could they have betrayed us?"

Now it's me leaving. And it's not for no reason; god, no. I've found this lovely, intriguing fandom: the Nevermoor fandom. I write a lot of stuff about that with my lovely friend Idri over on Wattpad, and we're strangely very active. Nevermoor is about a ten-year-old girl named Morrigan. She's clever, hilarious, and very cursed. I strongly recommend you read Nevermoor and Wundersmith (the second book) by Jessica Townsend, so you can follow our fanfictions over on Wattpad and AO3. There's a third book coming out in July, and we're very excited.

I'm sick of making promises I can't keep. Sick of going to bed at night and crying about my unfinished fanfictions. Knowing I have to update. Knowing it's my own personal decision, but I'll be letting people down if I don't.

I will be finishing all WsIP (Works In Progress), and all upcoming stories (excluding Mission: Improbable, a fanfiction co-written with DaisytheDoodleDog) are hereby cancelled. I'm putting a notice up on my profile later today.

Thank you so much for bearing with me throughout all this, and again, I'm so sorry. Special apologies to Romantica 123. You deserved better, and I'm sorry I couldn't provide it.

Enjoy the last chapter, guys. I might not see you again, but most of my social medias are in my profile.

-Tahlia xx

P.S. homophobes will die in this chapter fyi

* * *

Astrid sat on her old bed in her parents' house, thinking about Hiccup and Jessika. Eira. Thor, whatever her name was, Astrid had realised that it hadn't been Hiccup's cousin who had messed everything up- it was her. She was the one who had caused Hiccup all of this pain, all of this trouble.

Eira hadn't done anything.

Astrid felt like a monster. How could she have been so stupid, so jealous, so _mean_? Yeah, arrogant was her style, but she had made a promise.

A promise she had broken.

* * *

_Astrid sat outside Gothi's healer hut biting her nails in worry, anticipation, and fear. Would he be okay? Would he live? Would he... would he ever forgive her for what she had done?_

_The 'he' was Hiccup Haddock. The very person she had hated for eight years... until they were twelve and she realised her parents and all the others were wrong; Hiccup wasn't a stupid, weak, scrawny, useless boy like they all said- he was smart, talented, and kind of cute, if a little challenged in the muscle department. But still, she had to pretend. Act like she hated his guts- but she didn't want to hurt him. So she would only insult him with the other teens behind his back. When she and Hiccup were in each other's presence, when nobody was looking, she would try and sneak him a small smile. A reminder to always be hopeful._

_She didn't think he ever saw them._

_But it still had to hurt. The boy was clearly mad about her, and while she hadn't been able to say the same, she could now confidently say that she, Astrid Hofferson, had fallen in love with a runt. Hiccup must have spent a good eleven years, from four to fifteen years old, thinking that everybody hated him. He must have thought that about Astrid as well! She had messed up, and she vowed never to be so hateful again._

_The door to the healer's hut banged open, and Astrid jumped up at the sight of the Chief. "S- sir?" she asked, secretly dreading his response. "Is he..."_

_"Hiccup's fine, lass," answered Stoick confidently, but Astrid presumed he was feeling slightly more worried and upset than he let on, as she was. "Gothi had to... erm... amputate his leg... and he's currently in a coma, but he'll be-"_

_"WHAT?!" Astrid yelled. Amputate? Coma? What in __Thor's name was happening? _

_Stoick frowned disapprovingly. "Keep your voice down, lass. Gothi needs to concentrate in there; she's still stitching up some of his wounds. He'll be alright. Why don't you go get some rest?"_

_"BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!" Astrid cried in frustration. "I've been mean to him since we were four, and for three years now I've loved him. I CARE about him! I don't WANT to get any rest! I want to be by his side all through this!"_

_"Gothi says the coma could last for around a month or so," replied Stoick flatly._

_"I- DON'T- CARE! I would stay for a YEAR! I WANT TO STAY HERE! Please... let me stay here. I promise never to be awful again. Just because you've been a crappy father, doesn't mean I can't stay here! I LOVE HIM AND I WANT TO STAY HERE!"_

_Stoick visibly flinched. "Repeat that?"_

_"I DON'T GIVE A CRAP! YOU'VE BEEN AWFUL AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO SAY IT! I- AM- IN- LOVE- WITH- YOUR- SON! I am Astrid Hofferson and I am in love with Hiccup Haddock!"_

_Breathing heavily after her outburst, Astrid looked down, ashamed. Not of being in love with Hiccup, but of being so rude to her Chief._

_Stoick stared at her, a tear glistening in his eye. "Alright, Astrid. You may stay- but just for tonight."_

_And three and a half years later, Astrid had broken her promise._

* * *

"Astrid!"

Astrid whipped her head around, hearing a familiar feminine voice can her name. She outwardly groaned when she saw who it was- Eira was standing there, smiling sadly. "Huh?" the former growled irritably, wiping tears she pretended didn't exist from her eyes as she did so.

"I just came to say goodbye. Mum's leaving now, and I can't stay behind..."

Oh.

Eira walked closer and sat down beside Astrid. "You know," Hiccup's cousin said softly, "All I wanted was to spend some time with Hiccup. I could see that I was making you jealous- but I couldn't do anything about it. I'm so, so, sorry I messed things up for you and Hiccup, Astrid."

Astrid looked down at her knees. "No, you're not. If you were really sorry, you wouldn't have- yeah."

"That's true. That's really true. But I hope you can accept my sincere apologies. Hiccup and I have discussed it at length, and I really owe you a huge sorry."

"Yeah, you do," Astrid scoffed. "What about that outburst, then? Hiccup's 'mental issues'?"

"I'm sorry, I said!" replied Eira, looking a little offended. Astrid sighed. "I know. I'm sorry too- I didn't exactly behave that well either... I just really thought..."

Eira frowned. "You thought what?"

Astrid swallowed. She couldn't say it. Could she? Would she ruin it even more? Would they all view her as simply a jealous bikkja, somebody not to be socialised or associated with?

She said it.

"I thought you were in love with Hiccup. I'm so sorry, it's so stupid, but..." Astrid trailed off, her face reddening. Eira looked shocked for a moment, and then burst out laughing. "Thor, I didn't know I was that good of an actor! No, no. Never. He's my cousin. Plus, I don't really know how to say this, but I don't really like guys like that."

Astrid whipped her head around to face Eira, ashamed. "O- oh. Agh, I'm so sorry-"

"No! Don't be," Eira replied immediately and confidently. "You had no way of knowing. I don't exactly give it out as free information. And besides, the Great Hall thing was my fault. It was just to piss you off."

Astrid chuckled. "We're... good, then? Like, you're not going to stab me or anything?" Eira opened her mouth to answer, but before she could start, a shout rang out through the air. "_Eira_! We're leaving!" The girl quickly scrambled to her feet, and pulled Astrid to hers. "If you ever want to chat, just ask Hiccup to send a letter. He knows where I live."

Astrid grinned. "Will do. I think you'd better get going before your mum leaves without you. I gotta go sort things out with Hiccup anyway..."

Eira nodded understandingly, hugged Astrid silently, and ran off to where her mother was waiting impatiently.

* * *

Astrid entered Hiccup's father's house, hoping he was there. If he wasn't, she had no hope of finding him. She had tried the cove, the blacksmith's, the training arena- he had to be in his house if he wasn't flying back to the Edge already.

She ascended the stairs, craning her neck to see if he was there before she got up. She couldn't see him, and her heart sank. _Now I'll have to wait three days_, she thought to herself, getting to the top level anyway- and there he was, lying face down on his bed, hair a mess and armour off. "H- hey, Hiccup?" Astrid whispered uncertainly. He slid his head under his pillow with an almost inhumane groan. "Nghh... what do you want?"

Astrid cautiously positioned herself next to Hiccup's near-unmoving body, being careful not to disturb him all that much. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly. He rolled over to face her, removing his head from under the pillow. Astrid recoiled at the sight of his white, ill-looking face, and winced as he replied in a croaky voice, "Do I _look_ okay?"

"No."

"That's because I'm not."

Astrid smiled, unable to hide her utter happiness that she hadn't completely messed up their relationship. He was still her snarky friend he always had been. "What's up?" she questioned. He sat up slowly. "The sky, the ceiling, probably a few thousand dr-"

"Not literally, you moron," groaned Astrid, rolling her eyes. Hiccup smirked. "Just a headache, then."

"Oh. Sorry. Uh... I came to really apologise for everything I said. I know apologies don't cut it anymore or whatever you told me- but I'd really like another chance. I'm sorry I was such a-"

"Profanity," Hiccup grumbled, smiling slightly. Astrid laughed. "Yeah. So... what do you say?"

Hiccup thought about this for a minute, putting a hand up to his chin to stroke an imaginary beard, and Astrid somehow only caught onto the fact that he was pretending to muse it over thirty seconds in. She punched him lightly in the arm, and he yelped. "Ow, Astrid! What the-"

"Profanity!" Astrid giggled, and instantly felt ashamed. "Sorry, I-"

And Hiccup kissed her.

Astrid was taken aback, but melted slowly into the kiss, closing her eyes and feeling a sense of warmth and belonging she thought she'd never feel again. They pulled apart after about ten seconds, and Hiccup grinned. "Does that answer your question?"

Astrid pouted. "No, I think you have to do it again."

Hiccup obliged, and Astrid smiled as they broke apart. "I love you, idiot."

"I love you too, milady."

* * *

This is such a crappy ending but wow, I've finished! It's been exactly a year, a month, and a day since the initial release of this story. I'm sitting here, doing a writing sprint on Discord. I have four minutes left. I'm so sorry this has taken sooooo long, but I needed time to find myself. Thanks for sticking with me, guys, girls, and everybody inbetween. Love you all!

-Tahlia xx


End file.
